Poetry Attempts

If You’re Reading This …

8

I just want to be happy in this life

We should all be happy in this life

It’s easy to die Pam

I always wonder how people walk into the ocean just to die

It’s easy

You stand far from shore, you see the clapping waves that remind you of your mind’s current state

It’s scary,  but after a while it looks peacefully. Just peaceful, like it’s calling you to be at peace.

We should all be happy in this life Pam

We go to ocean to find peace, but not everyone comes back alive

Death comes in different forms and so does peace

May our peace not be in the bosom of death

– beach thoughts that turned into texts and became a poem (August 2017)

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Red

My mother would always warn me

“Don’t drink that without blowing”. I took a sip and burnt my tongue

“Don’t play with matches”. I didn’t listen, it burnt my fingers

“Don’t touch the iron”. I chose not to listen, it burnt my skin

“Don’t listen to these boys”. Did I listen? They set a fire in my heart and watched it burn

“Don’t let them touch you”. And as always I didn’t listen and they left burn scars on my thighs

I’m full of scars, I never learn from my mistakes

Fire only burns, nne ge nti, listen

In whatever form, enjoyable or heart wrenching

Fire will always burn

3:45am

To be restless at night

Burdened with conversations that never happened, that need to happen

The urge to say “I’m sorry”

To ask “At any point did I mean anything”

To hear “I did not mean to hurt you”

Just for peace of mind

To lay down and not be haunted

A void that might never be filled , weight that we would continue to carry

Words are light but heavy, in the heart and in my mouth

One Day

Nne m, I’m restless 

I want to tell your stories, I want to tell our stories

My pen is blunt and my tongue heavy

But these stories will be told

Truths reveled , sworn secrets exposed 

All hell will be let loose

Promise me one thing Nne

That when your truth is reveled, my truth reveled 

That I can still sit by your feet and rest my head on your laps 

Rub my back til I fall asleep and call me nne m

‘Creator’ 

For those who we can sit down with, open ourselves to old and new things

For those who accept their imperfections and our imperfections 

For those who accept a total stranger from Nigeria with an immense show of love 

For him who is not afraid to speak his truth 

For her who is far from home but building a home 

For teaching a young girl that she too can speak to a spirit 

That one cold night with words accompanied by soothing sounds ,  is what she carries continually with her 

                                      – thank you 

Back to Life, Back to Hope

When you sit down hugging your knees rocking  yourself

With tears running down your cheeks

You silently call on someone, anyone to help you

But your voice is slightly above a whisper

Baby girl, talk your way through it

Say it with me “I’ll be fine”

Say it slowly, repeatedly

And when depression tries to mock your growing faith

Shake your head and say it loudly “I’ll be fine!” repeatedly

In that dark corner, in your room, in your closet, on your bathroom floor

In your mind

Hugging your knees with tears on your face

Rock yourself back to life, back to hope

Nne ama m , but speak life to yourself

Tell depression “I’ll be fine!”
– for September 10

Unusual 

Fast forward to an exhibition

You’ll walk around unusual art

Holding a glass of wine with an appearance to keep

Until you walk by one

The predilection is intense

It stirs up something
Fast forward to months later in your home

You’ll walk around your collection

Holding a glass of wine with no appearance to keep

Everything’s unraveling itself

You’ll walk by one

And be reminded that just like the art , you are unusual

Unusually beautiful

 
The Fuck Art Exhibition

Artist: Ifedoyin Shotunde

IG: Ifedoyin_s

Grey

I’m lying down next to a man
He don’t love me no more
He thinks about her when he’s eating my food
He talks about her with his head on my laps
Į maa na,  he whispers her name in his sleep
I fall asleep to the sound of my man calling for another
He looks at me every morning
Those eyes..
I’m searching but I end up lost
Nne, this night I will lie next to a man
He don’t love me no more

Truth/Dare

image

I dare you to fall in love
To feel something unexplainable
Only the brave allow themselves to feel that way
Willingness to tread on a darkened path, unsure of what lies ahead
To carry the weight of someone’s trust
To make their flaws perfect in your eyes
The kind of feeling that calms your wandering mind
To dwell on the existence of another person
To make someone your antidote
Then something you swear you can live without
Becomes what you thirst for
Trying to keep still when all you want to do is dance
But..
Do we dare fall in love
Do I dare fall in love
Or aren’t we all brave enough

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