Single Igbo Girl : Ofe Nsala

This one that I am… anyways it’s once in a while. It’s not like I do it all the time. In fact it has never been done but…

Now this was the conversation before the above thought

Hey babe. How are you?

I feel like ColdStone.

You can’t what? I’m coming to your house, get ready. I’ll tell you when I’m there”

After I moved out of my parent’s house, my mother and I do this thing where we bring each other soup or stew on some days. Today I had decided to bring my mother ofe nsala because daughter of the year na. I was just about done when I heard my phone ring. If you see the race I ran with half of my heart hoping it was the one person I wanted to call only to get there and see a different caller id

It’s the ones that you don’t want that will now be calling you up and down. Mstchewww

Just as I had poured the soup into the bowl, my phone rang again. Reluctantly , I picked it up behold that one person


You should have seen my face after that conversation. I started praying that he would be an hour or two late. My parents live few streets away, I could drop it and come back just in time abi? Or should I wait and tell mummy to send her driver? After considering it for a while I decided I’ll drop the food off myself and be quick. Just as I was about to change I thought to myself, “bring out some soup for him now”. Aha! Me? Now my friends and past ‘brothers’ know one thing about me. I don’t cook for just anybody. I’m not the “do you want me to make you something?”

Asi. That’s a lie

Not me. Now if I kinda liked you maybe indomie and egg or jollof rice. Even fried plantain sef. But ofe nsala was sacred. Food for the one who had put a ring on it and about to wife it. But here I was scooping out of the soup specially prepared for my mother to give someone who forgets to return phone calls for days.

Anyways I drive into my parents house and Ijeoma, my mother’s help/PA/amebo partner/in house hair stylist came out to carry the bowl.

“Aha Aunty nno. Anyi no na-azu uno”

I make my way to the back of the house to see my mum with her half braided hair, cracking and eating walnuts. Typical Saturday evening.

“Mummy I brought you nsala “

“Daalu nne “

For the next 30 to 40 minutes I listen to my mother talk about different things , with Ijeoma who had continued braiding her hair adding a silent laughter now and then whenever mummy said something funny. These ones are relaxed and I’m checking my phone to see if it rang and I didn’t hear it. Let me come and be going biko. I get up to leave

Mummy I’m going o”

“But you just got here now “

“Ehen tomorrow’s church. I’ll see you there ehn”

As I leave I can still hear my mother complaining but I’m expecting a phone call and I’ve a special presentation.

I get home and with my ofe nsala in one of my precious glass bowls, I’m waiting for him.

8:07 … he’ll call anytime from now… 8:55 . I get a message on my phone, it’s Jumoke. The message read “Babes *smiley face* . I go ahead to pour out my frustration to her. It takes her a while to understand it but when she does , SHE STARTS TO LAUGH HER HEART OUT

“Lol sorry, no vex abeg”

Is this not stupidity? If they’re calling women that have sense now, I’ll carry my ‘feminist’ self and be going. Because I wanted to do ‘surprise surprise’ that OGs can be sensitive too. I broke one rule that I never break.

9:30 … I’ll eat this soup with chilled Fanta o… 10:05. At this point I had started imagining the kind of speech I will give when I eventually talk to him. But come o, muwa bu Adanna , a whole me. I got stoop up when I had food to give! Which mouth will I use to tell people this one biko nu.

10:41… The food is not even doing me to eat again. Here I am. Sitting with bowl of nsala in front of me and I can’t bring myself to eat it. Mmmh. I slowly walk into the kitchen and place the bowl in the fridge gently. Some part of my mind knows after they beg and apologize I’ll bring it out and warm it up for him

11:05 … Kitchen lights are switched off. With a bottle of Fanta, I’m carrying myself to the room .

This single life sef.

P:S – I’m thinking of making this a series. What do you think ūü§Ē If you have any possible titles for the series too kindly drop them in the comments ūüėė


Sisters Who Walk This Path

We have walked this path before, this very road

We know when to stop,

where to turn

We have walked it so often we know it by heart

At the end , we pick our things and go back to the very beginning

Not for you, for somebody else

For every journey we embark on, there’s a silent prayer that goes with it

A prayer of hope, a prayer of ‘maybe’

A prayer of ‘just this one time’

Still at the end , we pick our things,

whatever’s left of us

And we go back to the very beginning

For somebody else

We have walked this path too often just as we have loved wrongly too often

Image: Pinterest


My mother would always warn me

“Don’t drink that without blowing”. I took a sip and burnt my tongue

“Don’t play with matches”. I didn’t listen, it burnt my fingers

“Don’t touch the iron”. I chose not to listen, it burnt my skin

“Don’t listen to these boys”. Did I listen? They set a fire in my heart and watched it burn

“Don’t let them touch you”. And as always I didn’t listen and they left burn scars on my thighs

I’m full of scars, I never learn from my mistakes

Fire only burns, nne ge nti, listen

In whatever form, enjoyable or heart wrenching

Fire will always burn


I’m lying down next to a man
He don’t love me no more
He thinks about her when he’s eating my food
He talks about her with his head on my laps
ńģ maa na,¬† he whispers her name in his sleep
I fall asleep to the sound of my man calling for another
He looks at me every morning
Those eyes..
I’m searching but I end up lost
Nne, this night I will lie next to a man
He don’t love me no more


The day your brain registers his scent and you can tell he’s behind you without looking back

You have fallen for him

When you close your eyes and his smile haunts you

His laughter makes you laugh

There’s no going back

You have chosen the love that would hurt you

The day he leaves, you would cry

You would feel stupid for holding on for too long

You would remember you’re not the type believe in fairytales

The day he calls, you would feel nothing but disgust

After a while, that disgust will turn into love

And your tragic love story will repeat itself

But remember

No matter how many times he or his type waltz in and out of your life

Nwa mummy ka i bu

You’ll be fine, you’ll come out of it more than fine

You’re one of the strongest people I know

Wild Moments


Facing¬†¬†the window, the morning sun pouring on her face. She was standing there in the kitchen, over sized black t-shirt and her hair pulled into a messy bun. 7 am and she was up making breakfast. ‘Bed Peace’ by Jhene playing from the stereo in the living room. Caught in the moment, she lifted her hands up and swayed unconsciously to the music. Unkown to her she had an audience.

He stood, leaning against the wall. Watching her every move. She’s wasn’t a morning person, so seeing her dancing and happy in the morning made him laugh.¬†She was the type that didn’t follow all the rules. She could argue¬†for hours to get her point across. According to her, if being a¬†woman who¬†won’t let any body tell her what to do or not to do because she was a female made her a feminist, then she¬†is a feminist. She loved a good book, African literature being her favs¬†”There’s something about holding a well read book”. There was always a book¬†by her bed side, next to her iPod. He loved listening to her talk¬†,whether it was¬†something she did, a book she read, a song she¬†heard recently. The way her eyes lit up when she was excited was enough for him. She¬†was the type he would call ‘a girl in¬†woman’s body’. The way she would stick her tongue out at a car that refused to stop for her to cross. Or her love¬†for cartoons.¬†How could someone so free spirited be caged at the same time. She hardly spoke of the things that bothered her, instead she preferred to be left alone. Sometimes she would be so withdrawn and depressed that nothing he said or did would bring her back to normal. They had their wild moments: fights that made them question why they were still together, moments they never wanted to end. People wondered why they tried.¬†But the thought of not being together was scary enough for them.They were complicated, three years and still counting.

He went into the kitchen and held her from behind,¬†one hand round her waist the other round her shoulder. She stopped moving and¬†together they stood there.¬†Then she said,¬†¬†”I don’t know what this is, either do you. But if you stay I will”

Til Death Do Us Part; Or One Of Us Gets Bored

” I want a lot of things in my man but if there are few things that make a difference, it should be time to me, its the most important thing. My nigga MUST have my time. I want a man who can woo me often, a man who appreciates me, the one who makes me proud coz I like being envied, Lool. A man who makes me feel lucky, A good charmer who can make me laugh. A good listener and a man I can depend on…”
Don’t we all want that? I was talking with a good friend when she started to type and that was what I saw. At first I was like “I’m typing all these things?” Then I told myself “I gotta save this. Use it.” We all know relationships end in two ways; marriage or break up. If yours got to marriage , Congratulations!!! If it didn’t, better luck next time. For a very weird reason I decided to ask to my friends what their take on relationships are, what they thought about relationships

“I think having a relationship is beautiful, uno being happy, in love & not being able to go a single day without speaking to or seeing you bf/gf”¬†¬†“If there’s¬†no¬†trust¬†then¬†it’s¬†shit”¬†¬†¬†“Well¬†relationships¬†are¬†nice.¬†I’ll¬†like¬†to¬†be¬†in¬†an¬†honest¬†one. Just¬†the¬†two¬†of¬†us¬†enjoying¬†each¬†other’s¬†company.¬†Its¬†usually¬†nice¬†to¬†know¬†someone¬†understands¬†you”
“I love it. But I’m a long term person. And the boy has to be responsible”
“Relationships are shit”
“I think relationships have to do with what you want not what the person wants. You have to be certain its what you want. And… you have to decide what your goal is”
“They’re nice with a good person, complicated thou. A good heart, wonderful¬† mind and not too hard to understand”
A whole lot goes into relationships. It’s not just someone who’s good looking, who you can go out with or take selfies with to show the whole world, changing your last name on social networks without a marriage certificate, someone to listen to ALL your problems; take your problems to God, for he cares for you.¬† Or the one that really annoys me changing statuses; “I wish he was here with me, you know who you are” ” My love, you know who you are”. ¬†He does not¬†know biko. Ahn ahn. Some want what they see on TV or read in Harlequin books so bad that they forget the major things. Just like a friend said, you have to have goals. It’s not business its a relationship, we remember. Can you imagine yourself with this person in 2/3 years? Or let’s see what happens.¬†To what lenght will you go to keep this person? Is it healthy for you? Oh yes you have to think about yourself . If after a long time of being together will one wrong overshadow all the good and you’ll call it quits? Yes? And you want to get married and stay married one day? Ji si ike, well done. Some girls ( yes we’re mostly the ones at fault in this area) don’t even say what they want. Then when he ‘breaks your heart’ you would call the PPC, Pity Party Congress. Emergency meeting. Did they carry you to his house? Did they carry you to his room? When you didn’t set boundaries how would he know.
Trust is another thing. I feel at the beginning there’s loads of trust, because its new the thrill of a possible long term relationship. But with time it starts to wear out then some get stuck in a relationship where the other person wants to know when you slept, who you saw today, why you didn’t return a message/call, where you went. And its tiring.. very. People need their space, plants need air, water, sunlight and space to grow. Just like a relationship would need trust, patience and space to grow.
Some people go into relationships with good intentions. Really they do. Not all boys are dogs. Not all girls are hoes. I don’t say all boys are dogs because I know a lot that if with the right girl they would treat her with respect. Not all girls are hoes, I’m a girl and I’m not a hoe. Yes some people are just plain mean. They give up the trust and affection of a good person by doing really stupid things that won’t even last! It can be tiring but instead of telling the whole of twitterverse or updating¬†pms (¬†please some of us are tired of seeing your whole life not only in pictures but in¬†statuses ehn) talk to whoever is ‘breaking your heart’ ‘ doesn’t deserve you’ whoever¬†you’re ‘done with’.
 Give /giv/ verb, noun
hand/provide| sth to sb | ~sb sth to hand sth to sb so that they can look at it, use it or keep it for a time
(! slang) (Nig) what you gain from a relationship
Yes to some ‘na gives’ and its true in some cases. They want nothing deep. We are here – we are done that’s all. But some on the other hand ‘no be gives’, its real. So please lets not categorize all relationships with just one aim; gives. All no be gives this guy!
So to the ones in relationships THAT are working out we say carry on, I want to be like you when I grow up. The single sisters, your ‘XO’ ,your ‘Ceiling’ shall come. To the ones with cheating and lying partners, you deserve better we all agree.The ones who are ‘married’ without a badass rock on your finger… you know who you are.
Just saying