” I want a lot of things in my man but if there are few things that make a difference, it should be time to me, its the most important thing. My nigga MUST have my time. I want a man who can woo me often, a man who appreciates me, the one who makes me proud coz I like being envied, Lool. A man who makes me feel lucky, A good charmer who can make me laugh. A good listener and a man I can depend on…”
Don’t we all want that? I was talking with a good friend when she started to type and that was what I saw. At first I was like “I’m typing all these things?” Then I told myself “I gotta save this. Use it.” We all know relationships end in two ways; marriage or break up. If yours got to marriage , Congratulations!!! If it didn’t, better luck next time. For a very weird reason I decided to ask to my friends what their take on relationships are, what they thought about relationships
“I think having a relationship is beautiful, uno being happy, in love & not being able to go a single day without speaking to or seeing you bf/gf” “If there’s no trust then it’s shit” “Well relationships are nice. I’ll like to be in an honest one. Just the two of us enjoying each other’s company. Its usually nice to know someone understands you”
“I love it. But I’m a long term person. And the boy has to be responsible”
“Relationships are shit”
“I think relationships have to do with what you want not what the person wants. You have to be certain its what you want. And… you have to decide what your goal is”
“They’re nice with a good person, complicated thou. A good heart, wonderful mind and not too hard to understand”
A whole lot goes into relationships. It’s not just someone who’s good looking, who you can go out with or take selfies with to show the whole world, changing your last name on social networks without a marriage certificate, someone to listen to ALL your problems; take your problems to God, for he cares for you. Or the one that really annoys me changing statuses; “I wish he was here with me, you know who you are” ” My love, you know who you are”. He does not know biko. Ahn ahn. Some want what they see on TV or read in Harlequin books so bad that they forget the major things. Just like a friend said, you have to have goals. It’s not business its a relationship, we remember. Can you imagine yourself with this person in 2/3 years? Or let’s see what happens. To what lenght will you go to keep this person? Is it healthy for you? Oh yes you have to think about yourself . If after a long time of being together will one wrong overshadow all the good and you’ll call it quits? Yes? And you want to get married and stay married one day? Ji si ike, well done. Some girls ( yes we’re mostly the ones at fault in this area) don’t even say what they want. Then when he ‘breaks your heart’ you would call the PPC, Pity Party Congress. Emergency meeting. Did they carry you to his house? Did they carry you to his room? When you didn’t set boundaries how would he know.
Trust is another thing. I feel at the beginning there’s loads of trust, because its new the thrill of a possible long term relationship. But with time it starts to wear out then some get stuck in a relationship where the other person wants to know when you slept, who you saw today, why you didn’t return a message/call, where you went. And its tiring.. very. People need their space, plants need air, water, sunlight and space to grow. Just like a relationship would need trust, patience and space to grow.
Some people go into relationships with good intentions. Really they do. Not all boys are dogs. Not all girls are hoes. I don’t say all boys are dogs because I know a lot that if with the right girl they would treat her with respect. Not all girls are hoes, I’m a girl and I’m not a hoe. Yes some people are just plain mean. They give up the trust and affection of a good person by doing really stupid things that won’t even last! It can be tiring but instead of telling the whole of twitterverse or updating pms ( please some of us are tired of seeing your whole life not only in pictures but in statuses ehn) talk to whoever is ‘breaking your heart’ ‘ doesn’t deserve you’ whoever you’re ‘done with’.
Give /giv/ verb, noun
hand/provide| sth to sb | ~sb sth to hand sth to sb so that they can look at it, use it or keep it for a time
(! slang) (Nig) what you gain from a relationship
Yes to some ‘na gives’ and its true in some cases. They want nothing deep. We are here – we are done that’s all. But some on the other hand ‘no be gives’, its real. So please lets not categorize all relationships with just one aim; gives. All no be gives this guy!
So to the ones in relationships THAT are working out we say carry on, I want to be like you when I grow up. The single sisters, your ‘XO’ ,your ‘Ceiling’ shall come. To the ones with cheating and lying partners, you deserve better we all agree.The ones who are ‘married’ without a badass rock on your finger… you know who you are.